Sunday, August 17, 2014

The Yogurt Thief

People are endlessly surprising.  I just wish it wasn't so often because they totally fucking suck.

The day I started at my current job, while giving me a tour of the office, my boss stuck a yogurt in the fridge.  When she went back for it a few hours later, it was gone.  Apparently this had been happening on and off for the past year, but the Yogurt Thief was about to go into overdrive, and was about to steal the wrong lady's yogurt.

When this woman discovered her yogurt was missing two days in a row, she just about lost her mind.  Everyone on our floor heard about it.  For a while there, I thought she was going to call the cops.  Instead, she came up with a plan:  we were going to run a sting operation.  The plan was to subtly mark the bottom of some yogurts, plant them in the fridge, and if they were taken, we were going to search through everyone's garbage cans looking for the marked containers.  I was new, so I wanted to be a team player, but sifting through garbage at the end of the work day oddly did not appeal to me.

Instead, she stuck this on the fridge:
God, even our threats are so Canadian...

I guess the threat worked.  The office Jean Valjean seems to have stopped, or was perhaps one of the people transferred to another location recently, along with the guy who used to cook raw fish in the toaster oven.  In any case, I was spared garbage patrol. And people do still suck.

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